Smile because I told you to
by Rod
Summary: Even the best things come in small packages. Cloud lives alone in Costa Del Sola, before one person stumbles along, and changes his life...(read and review. O.O OR DIE. Cloud/.. you'll never guess!)
1. Default Chapter

It's been roughly, what..five years after the defeat of Sephiroth, and the fall of meteor? Five years  
  
since I've actually begun to have a normal life? Alas, only *four* years since Tifa left me for some  
  
pathetic hobo off the streets of Midgar. Damn, and I thought were we beginning to have a pattern.  
  
Let me explain about myself. I'm Cloud Strife, and I saved the world from Sephiroth. I can safely  
  
state that I'm insane. From all the weird things I've seen, from Shin-Ra employees mooning me,  
  
to gigantic icicles attacking me, you'd think by now, I wouldn't find it weird if somebody pulled   
  
off their shirt and revealed they had another eight sets of eyes on their chest. But today, something   
  
truly unique happened. I would of never of guessed it.  
  
I live in my house that I bought from some old guy in Costa Del Sola. Yeah, it only costed like..  
  
a billion gil. I was lazily flipping through the channels. You see, I have over five hundred channels. But,  
  
as if the television knows I'm going to sit down and watch some TV, the only thing it shows is reruns  
  
and documenteries on the mating habits of moogles, or sometihng. Erk. That was until I heard a crash  
  
from outside. I knew it was probably the WELCOME TO COSTA DEL SOLA sign again, because it  
  
hasn't been repaired in awhile. I grabbed one of my boots, opening the door, to scare off any beach  
  
whores who wanted to come barging into my house. I peered out the door, before I dropped the  
  
boot. What I saw before me, something I never wanted to even think about again...   
  
A black cloaked figure lay writhing near a palm tree. From the looks, either some mean guy  
  
threw him into the tree, or he tripped and fell and landed there with a crash. I approached the black  
  
cloaked figure, before getting on my knees to look at the fellow. I've never actually seen one of these  
  
things without their hood. Curiously, I peeled the hood off the cloaked clone. He had unruly, tangled,  
  
and slightly curled white hair. It reached to about his shoulders, as it was matted with dirt, making it  
  
seem more of a dark gray color. His skin was a dark tan, and his eyes were a very light shade of  
  
green. Really, I suspected it to be something ... a lot more worse, and deformed. A trickle of drool  
  
ran down his face, as he stared at me. I furrowed a brow.   
  
" R...re..u..un..ion..? " He asked quietly, his eyes staring at me, without a blink. ... Well, the clone  
  
was a little late. Like, five years late. I sighed, and rubbed my forhead.  
  
" Uh... " I didn't have the heart to tell the clone that he was 'alittle' late for that. " Yeah.. Reunion. It's  
  
here. " I murmured, lifting the surprisingly light clone into my arms, and heading inside. The clones  
  
eyes grew large, tearing up. " Yeah.. good job. " I sighed.  
  
A Sephiroth Clone. Five years after Sephiroth died. He missed the reunion. Wow--that truely  
  
marks a failure. How can a clone miss the reunion? Hell, even I was there. Now what gives Hojo  
  
the right, this guy wasn't even there. He looked younger, and much thinner then all the other clones  
  
I've seen. He looked around his late teens..eighteen, maybe. I don't know..maybe he was created  
  
to look this way forever. I wouldn't doubt he had a shortened lifespan, but if he lasted for five years  
  
when Sephiroth DIED..  
  
But before I delve any deeper into this situation, I'm giving this thing a bath. I don't need my  
  
house smelling like clone. I carried the clone into the bathroom, setting him down on the floor, as  
  
I began to run the water in the tub. He stared at me, almost in question.  
  
" ... g..grea...t se..ph..ir..oth..?.." He asked, twitching lightly.  
  
" Nope. Sorry, I'm Cloud. " I could of sworn his blank expression filled with sadness. I sighed heavily.  
  
" Alright..just..let me take off your cloak, you smell. I don't need my house smelling like you. "   
  
The clone let me take off the heavy cloak without protest, and I set him in the water. I took his arm, and began  
  
to scrub it. Almost instantly, dirt and sweat began to murk up the water, only from his arm. Holy fucktards.  
  
This clone was so dirty, that I actually needed to refill the tub three times before he was actually clean. I needed  
  
to dress him in some of MY clothes, too... seeing that the black cloak was disgusting. It took me nearly two  
  
hours to get the clone fully cleaned. I'm wasting my life with a poor Sephiroth clone?   
  
" C'mon, " I said, motioning to the unnamed clone. " I'll get you some sandles. " As I began to leave the  
  
room, I opened up a closet. I had enough shoes to wrestle Prod Clod with. " Okay, " I began, as I tossed a  
  
few out of my way. " We'll need to figure out what size.." I glanced behind me. Nobody. I sighed, stood,  
  
and began to backtrack to where I last left him. The clone was struggling to crawl to where I was.   
  
" L..lord..Clo..ud.." He whispered, crawling over to me.  
  
" .... I guess you don't need shoes. " Well, that could be one reason he didn't make it to the reunion. " And   
  
don't call me a lord. " I heaved the clone up in my arms, and took him back to the couch, where I was pre  
  
viously watching television, and sat him down. " What you do need, is a name. "  
  
" N..name..? ....m..a..master cloud...numb..er..is...23.." He writhed.  
  
" A number? We're not talking about numbers. Well.. uhm.. What should I name you..er.." I was never really  
  
creative with names. To my luck, a commercial on the telly suddenly chimed out (*TRY NEW JIFFY PEANUT  
  
BUTTER! :D OR DIE!*). I snapped my fingers. " That's it! We'll call you Piffy. "  
  
" ... p..piffy..? " Asked the clone.  
  
" Yes. Piffy. " I pet the newly named Piffy's mop of tangled hair. " ... You know, I think I might like having you  
  
around. It beats having jugs of death anyday. "  
  
_______________  
  
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Well, then review! :D  
  
Okee, should I continue this? It was originally supposed to be one shot. u.u;! Quite frankly, while skimming  
  
through Final Fantasy VII fanfiction these days, I always find like..these super intelligent Sephiroth clones  
  
who are like..searching for revenge or an answer or something. I just thought it would be original, if a  
  
normal Sephiroth Clone took the spotlight for a change... -sigh- Piffy Piffy Piffy..:D 


	2. Resturant FUNTIME!

I never knew Sephiroth clones were so high maintenance. You need to help  
  
them to everything. That, and the fact he keeps calling me LORD CLOUD. Like I'm  
  
some lord..It'd be cool if I was lord. I'd like..behead people for saying my shoes look  
  
like smurf clothes. It'd be cool. I'd especially make sure that Tifa and her silicone   
  
boobie billboards explode. Oh yes, how unfair advantages and all mighty power  
  
would change my life. Lets go back to Piffy. He was sleeping, the last time I saw him.  
  
And apparently I was wrong with that, because I just heard a gigantic crash in the  
  
kitchen.   
  
I sat up, away from the television (*Oh..Oh..MY BUTT! MY BUTTTT!! ALIENS  
  
ARE PROBING MY BUTTTT!!*), and headed into the kitchen. It was the Wutain  
  
War all over again. That, and the microwave exploded, and he stove was on fire.  
  
" MIGHTY FUCK!!! PIFFY!! " There lay Piffy, who writhed, and began to shake un  
  
controllably. I grabbed him by the arm, and threw him out the open window. Opening  
  
up the closet, I whipped out a handy-dandy fire extinguisher. " I never thought I'd  
  
have to use this!! DIE, FLAMES OF HELL! " I screamed, drenching the fire in the  
  
foamy like stuff from the fire extinguisher. I tossed the empty thing away, now that  
  
the flames died down. Really, if they didn't, I would of resorted to like..beating the  
  
flames with the extinguisher. I climbed out the window, and picked up Piffy by the  
  
back of his shirt. " Just what were you doing, setting my house on fire? TALK!   
  
Are you under Sephiroth's control? You're probably Sephiroth, aren't you!? AREN'T YOU! "  
  
I shook him lightly. " YOU FIEND!!! "  
  
" .. m..mas...master c..loud.. " I heard him whisper. " .. ..on..nly..trying to..make..  
  
breafast..for..for you.. "   
  
Breafast...Oh. I sorta jumped to a conclusion, now didn't I? Mehe. " Oh..  
  
Uh.. well, Lets go to the resturant instead. " I couldn't add on the part, 'Because  
  
you completely destroyed the kitchen.'. So I carried him off to the resturant, where  
  
we got a seat. I got a menu, and began to skim through it. " Hmm..Babies, they're  
  
chewable..ehh..Meat platter..It has REAL meat in it.. No way.. " I glanced over at  
  
Piffy, who leaned back, drool flowing out of his mouth like a river. What the fuck?  
  
I walked over to Piffy, and tipped him forward. " Uh.. "  
  
The classical music had stopped. All eyes were on me. Well, me, or Piffy.  
  
I glared. " HEY! You better all turn your heads, before I decide to unleash my  
  
UNHOLY WRATH apon your MEATY HEADS. " ... Yeah, the fire smoked my brain.  
  
I'm screwed up. It's like I'm high without the drugs. I sat back down, and the waiter  
  
approached.  
  
" What will you be having? " He asked, staring at me. The waiter suddenly  
  
began to get closer, until he was pratically in my face. " WHAT WILL YOU HAVE!?  
  
WHAT!?! TELL ME!! " I screamed, trying to shove him back, but he only grabbed   
  
me by the scruff of my shirt, and shoved me down into the seat. " WHAT THE  
  
FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO ORDER, YOU DAMN BASTARD?!?!!! TELL ME!!  
  
TELL ME OR I'LL GIVE YOU A SATANIC HEAD BITEY!!!! "   
  
" JESUS CHRIST!! " I exclaimed, struggling to shove the mentally derranged  
  
waiter away from me. He snarled, foam streaming down his face, plicketing onto  
  
my shirt.   
  
" THAT IS NOT ON THE MENU!!! NO FOOD FOR YOU ON THIS MORNING!! "  
  
Screamed the waiter, banging my head off the hard seat. Piffy just seemed too intent  
  
drooling another ocean. Even if he did notice, he couldn't do anything anyway. Kneeing  
  
the stupid fucked up waiter in the gut, I grabbed Piffy by his shirt, and dragged him into  
  
the nearest exit--which wasn't an exit at all. It was to the bathroom. I groaned inwardly,  
  
sitting in the sink.   
  
" This is so fucked up. " I murmured, running a hand through my hair. Suddenly,  
  
a noise caught my attention. I glanced up, and scrunched my nose in disgust. Like I  
  
needed to hear some constapated guy in the stall.   
  
(Arrghhh..)  
  
" ..... " I raised a slick blond brow.  
  
( ... Ahh.. )  
  
" Well, that's good. " I sighed. Really, it was. I wasn't going out of the bathroom  
  
to face that waiter, nor was I going to sit in here and listen to that guy. I leaned back  
  
against the glass, before the noise started up again.  
  
(ERAAGGHH!!)  
  
" Eragh..? What the fu--" I was cut off, by more screaming.  
  
  
  
(OH GOD!.GOD NO!!! AAHHH!!! )  
  
Suddenly disgusting, watery, bloody crap (literally) splashed out of the stall. I  
  
screamed, my face twisting in utter horror. " FUCKING SHIT!! LITERALLY! " I grabbed  
  
Piffy from off the floor, and stood there, holding him, as the shit-blood-water began  
  
to sweep all along the floors. I looked back at the stall.  
  
( ARRRTRGHAAERAAGHHH!! )  
  
Suddenly the man's legs were hanging up in the air, crap flying everywhere.  
  
I screamed again. I heaved Piffy over my head, ran out the door. Ran out of the  
  
resturant. Infact, I didn't stop running until I got home, where I locked the door five  
  
times and shut all the windows. I sat back onto the couch, looking at the clone,   
  
then to the television. " I really fucking think.. there is something wrong with this world."  
  
____________________  
  
Thanks for the reviews (The mighty two!). :D I honor thee. There is a major reference here,  
  
see if you can find it. XD Please review! Tell me what you want to happen next! :Lights a  
  
cigarette, leans back: Talk to me! :D 


	3. OMG I LOVE YOU

Today, I was looking through some of my old junk. Bah. Nothin' good. Except I found this doll in  
  
a dusty old box. Sorta reminded me of that hedgehog Zack I knew. Somewhere. From someplace..  
  
bah. I found a doll. It had spikey black hair, and a pull string. I pulled the string, and it was like  
  
"OMG I LOVE YOU!!!!!". It was sickeningly cute. So I gave it to Piffy.  
  
  
  
" Look, you pull the string here. " I motioned to the string. " And you pull it. And it'll say  
  
something magical. " This had to be the fucking five thousandth time I've explained it  
  
to the clone. He can't grasp the concept. HE CAN'T. I pulled the string, and the doll chimed out  
  
a 'We're going to be BEST FRIENDS!'. It made me writhe in disgust. Piffy still didn't seen to get  
  
it, so I just gave up and took the doll away. I went back to my room to burn it. Or something.   
  
I pulled the string on the doll, tossed it on my bed and glared at it. " You love me, huh? Well  
  
I fucking HATE YOU. You're.. sickeningly cute. It's disgusting. You ooze cuteness from your  
  
PORES. YOUR DOLLISH PORES!! " I shouted, slamming the door to my room. I pulled a chair   
  
around to stare at the doll. " Your plotting, aren't you. "  
  
  
  
" I'm going to kill you. " Giggled the doll.  
  
  
  
" LIKE HELL YOU ARE!! " I picked up the doll, shaking it furiously. " I KNOW YOUR KIND!!  
  
I KNOW YOU!!! WATCHING AND WAITING!!! ARGH!! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!! "   
  
  
  
" HAH!! As if anybodies going to believe you!! " Cackled the doll. That's when I heard  
  
the door open, and Piffy weakly sitting in the doorway. Fuck.  
  
  
  
" Ah.. Piffy. Look. The doll, it speaks..and..it's alive!! " He should be able to believe me.  
  
He'd believe the stupidest things, so if he'd probably believe me now. Hah! It's good to have some  
  
body like Piffy around. It makes you feel better about yourself.  
  
  
  
" ... ..lord cloud..? ... d...doll talks..yes..look..look.. " The clone murmured weakly, crawling  
  
over to me, and pulling the string on the doll. The echo of 'I'll be your BEST FRIEND!' chimed out. Fuck. Of all the   
  
times for him to learn how to do that, NOW IS THE TIME. " .. d..doll..not alive.. you.. you told me.. master..cloud.. "  
  
  
  
" uhm.. er..yeah! yeah, so I did. " If Piffy was a normal person, I bet he'd think I was on pot or something.  
  
POT. " Forget about it, Piffy. Go pratice walking. Just don't fall down the stairs like you did before. " I watched as the clone nodded lightly,  
  
forcing himself to a shaky stand, only to toddle out of the room and fall down the stairs like I told him not to. I think I'm slowly going mad.  
  
Inch by inch. Step by step.   
  
  
  
______  
  
Thanks everybody  
  
for the reviews!!  
  
Short chapter, I'm sorry. ;.; 


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